Don’t bundle up, you might become warm

Me: Yeah, my house is freezing.  I’m starting to have to dress in full sweats before I go to bed.

Horry:  Well don’t dress up too much!

Me: Yeah?

Horry: If you wear too much to bed, you won’t be able to dress up to go outside.

 Uhh…what?

Klondike derby, the redux

When we were kids, we had to go camping during the winter in boy scouts.  Sure, it was freezing as shit and you couldn’t sleep worth a damn in the icy bags, but at least you knew at the worst you’d be home in 2 days.

Well, here I am in godforsaken mountains, where the temperature in my room drops to 15 degrees Fahrenheit at night.  I woke up not being able to feel my toes last night, so I sat up and realized the blanket designed-for-5-foot-6-Japanese-people had moved off my feet.  So I was adjusting it and starting to lie back down when I felt my cheek hit a block of ice.  Seriously, the memory foam pillow had turned ice cold in under 15 seconds, and consequently I am now afraid to rest on my pillow at night.

Also, in the morning I can see my breath, it takes 35 minutes to heat a small bath, and washing my hands/teeth before putting contacts in is a serious frostbite risk. 

Where does Santa Claus live?

Students were trying to fill out a worksheet with the sentence “Santa Claus and his reindeer live in the (north / south / west / east) pole.”

I was trying to explain that Santa lived up north without saying north, and after a few different sentences, this is the conclusion the kids arrived upon: “Hokkaido!  Santa is in Hokkaido!”

 Also on this worksheet, I gave them a word bank with the header “Word Bank:”.

One girl used “word bank” as the answer in one of her sentences.